WHAT EXACTLY IS FAILURE?
Failure as defined by Damilare (TiKs Automation) is when one stops attempting or trying a course which one sets about initially.
Folukemi, the convener of www.lifelinkwithfolks.com believes failure is the inability to get that which a person sets out to achieve.
MOB defines it as giving up with no intention to ever try again when one couldn’t meet up with desired objectives.
Ifedayo in his opinion, believe it’s giving-in to a lack of success.
Although, Failure is a universal concept; its definition varies from one individual to another. Nevertheless, from the definitions above we can conclude that, failure is a state of not meeting up with other people’s or your expectation of yourself; or perhaps an individual’s inability to perform a required function.
Failure isn’t limited to a sphere, it is what you call it and it can come in diverse form; it can be failure in academics, profession/career, ministry, business, or even failure in one’s relationship with a partner or others.
It will do you well to also know that you can experience failure in your look or being i.e. how you adjudge your whole or content. I put it to you that if you’ve ever bleached your skin, it means you have experienced failure in your look because you are not comfortable in your own skin; you probably think being black isn’t good enough, if not your skin won’t be demeaning to you.
Perhaps you feel your physique needs some adjustment that God didn’t deem fit…you have experienced failure in defining your look. Maybe you feel because lady A looks good in that jumpsuit, you will also do well in it; you have failed in assessing your dressing well, because you don’t know what suit you. Babes! Dudes! You are beautiful/handsome as you are.
That said; let’s quickly look through this analogy
(Interview at Kalwin Ltd)
D.O: Dedunola Olabiyi is my name, you are?
O.B: I am Omoboriola Delan (continues with her bio)
D.O: So why do you want to join us here?
O.B: Actually, this is an avenue for me to explore new opportunity which particularly relates to
my field of study; owing to the fact that this firm helps build and manage projects…
D.O: Excuse me, you don’t even know what we do here, how then can you be here? (She continues, as she reels out what the coy does)
O.B: (deflated) Really! That’s quite a handful, I totally had a wrong impression of Kalwin; thank
you for having me all the same.
D.O: Alright, enjoy the rest of your day.
(On the road few minutes later, Delan began battling with thoughts)
D.O: I have never been this stupefied to myself in my entire life, I risked a whole lot to make the
interview; there were indications not to go, yet I overlooked all odds and went for it only to have it messed up.
And throughout the next few days, she continued to brood over the incidence; she had suffered defeat which she wasn’t going to forgive herself of hurriedly.
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Friend, if I may ask you; do you feel incapable of success? Do you feel defeated or like your entire ego had been crushed when you experience failure like Delan? If yes, you need deal with it. We all have failed at one point or the other; that manager you look forward to, that carries out his duties expressly has his/her own failure(s), that interviewer may have failed several interviews or may currently fail if transferred to a different field, that friend of yours that enjoys a blossoming relationship might have learned from a failed one, do you even know that that lady with an hour-glass shape admires your slim frame…and the list is just endless; nonetheless, their manner of approach in handling each failure determines what they make of it. By way of handling failure(s), I present to you my D.E.A.L approach.
Failure must be faced squarely! But before you can face your failure you must define it, what exactly measures as failure to you? Is a ‘one-time’ defeat sufficient enough to make you feel like a failure or is it a repeated action that yields no good result? Could it be your presentation or demeanor? Define it!
Having identified what translates to failure to you, you need to do what I term E-Renewal of your thoughts i.e. change your perception or view of that particular area of failure. We all know how fast electronically conducted ideas are; yes! Take the failure off your mind, don’t let it eat you up again; have your mind renewed so fast like an electronically controlled one, replace your ill-thoughts with positive one because the more you dwell on it, the more the probability of a repeated failure. Regenerate successful ideas about you that had been dead in replacement for the ones that caused you failure initially.
Then, practice is key; Action has to set in. It is true every change evolves from the thought orbit, however if it is not worked upon it will only be but mere thoughts. So, in facing and overcoming your failure, consciously take positive steps towards success; let your failure inspire you to greatness. For instance, if you’ve failed academically, seek help from friends around you; make diligent study your companion for excellence to ensue. For that beautiful look, research clothing that suit your body type and carry yourself well with the mindset that you are the best of your kind. Ever performed woefully at an interview or with a business before? Make adequate enquiries next time, and if need be talk to people in the field of interest.
Lastly, you need to Live. By living, I mean free yourself from every worry that comes with failure, understand that it is a lifting to your altitude; a phase or risk which can’t be avoided. Infact, your current failure can be a prerequisite for success, ensure you learn from it, otherwise there will be nothing to spur you on; talk more of living. Live above reproach, mockery, downcastness, low self-esteem, inferiority complex, phobia for greatness and shame…step on them all.
No individual is a failure, if you’ve failed this once, you will do well to succeed the next; do not succumb to defeat, if you fail in a particular field, find your own niche and fit in. A Chinese adage has it that, failure isn’t falling down but refusing to get up.
I look forward to a better you, come out of that failure ditch and D.E.A.L with your Failure.
Have a beautiful week ahead.
'Mobolanle Oyedokun