Sexual purity, I believe is a thing of the mind, a personal perception, belief and decision which varies from one person to another. This is to say that, though virginity is usually associated with self-worth, prestige and purity; the issue of virginity or sexual purity translates to different things from individual to individual. I am sure I can’t alone do justice to this topic, so I decided to gather views of other people with which I can share some opinions about virginity and issues that revolve it on this platform.
Out of the views and contributions I got from people, I have decided to share the opinion of some friends- Ms O. Priscillia (Content writer, Blogger and Journalist), Mr O. Kingsley (Perioperative /Critical Care Nurse-LUTH) and Mr Kolaru Victor (Head of Operations-CSadvance Finance Limited).
WHAT IS VIRGINITY?
Virgin emanates from the old French word ‘virgine’ from the root form of Latin word virgo, literally meaning maiden-Sexually intact. According to Wikipedia- Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse.
Victor opined that “A virgin is a chaste young man or lady, but contemporary societies often use the term to apply to the female gender alone. It is a held belief by all religions and primitive societies that the individuals coming to marital harmony should be sexually pure until their wedding night, westernization/civilization has since reduced this emphasis to near zero.”
Similarly, Priscillia says a “Virgin is someone that hasn’t had a sexual intercourse before.”
WHAT IS YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF PRIMARY AND SECONDARY VIRGINITY?
Virginity is usually categorized into: Primary and Secondary virginity.
PRIMARY VIRGINITY
In Victor’s opinion, a primary virgin is the person who has not had any sexual encounter especially penile-vagina penetration, and any form of sexual stimulation including using artificial dildos or any act of masturbation.
From Victor’s definition, one can deduce that it is not just vaginal sex that puts one in a state of disvirginity, but some other which may include oral and anal sex.
SECONDARY VIRGINITY
Secondary virginity means committing to chastity after you’ve been sexually active; it is a feeling of ‘wholeness’. In simple term, it is the process of a sexually active person attempting to regain virgin status by abstaining from sexual relations; this is otherwise known as re-virgination.
CULTURAL BELIEFS ON VIRGINITY
Our cultural and religious tradition places sexual values and significance on this state; predominantly towards unmarried females. In this part of the world, there’s a cultural expectation especially from the female, which debars one from engaging in premarital sex before marriage and then ‘releasing it’ on the wedding night in the act of consummation of the marriage. Virtually all cultures belief in sexual purity, and usually reward especially ladies who were confirmed virgins by their husband on the wedding day by the sighting of their blood stained white handkerchiefs.
Priscillia believes that our culture views virginity as a value, a dignity, but culture is evolving, and the virginity part is now gradually being overlooked.
HEALTH CONCERNS RELATING TO VIRGINITY
What are the benefits, or perhaps the implications of virginity?
Although, science has proven that there could be female virgins whose hymen were torn because of exercises or are naturally hymen deficient; hence blood won't come out of their vagina at their first sexual experience, there are still health benefits of staying sexually intact.
Kingsley being a Nurse, says “there are numerous benefits of virginity medically, which includes prevention of STD’S/STI’S, Cervical cancers, unwanted pregnancy, to mention but a few; however, there might be few implication in the case of imperforate hymen i.e. being a virgin might make it difficult to detect imperforate hymen on time.”
IS VIRGINITY GENDER SPECIFIC?
In contemporary times, I think female virginity has been regarded as more significant than male virginity. In my opinion, that’s gender biasness of the highest order. There is societal emancipation that supports the idea that virginity is more female centered, but from both medical and religious views, it is not. Even religiously, virginity is not gender specific, but most cultures emphasize the virginity of the female child over that of the male child, perhaps because it is the one that could be easily confirmed.
Priscillia, though a lady have it that virginity isn’t gender specific, because both genders have their first time, however virginity favours the male gender most.
VIRGINITY AS A LIFESTYLE
How do we live purely and happily, whether as a secondary or primary virgin?
Consciously determine you are a virgin, not because society demands it, because the society doesn't care anymore; not because you want to give it to some special guy, because lots of men do not see it as a big deal anymore; though he may be happy and appreciate you on the wedding night but that's it, virginity doesn't keep marriage. So a strong reason is needed to be able to stay strong. Hold your head strong, know what you are doing, and know who you are. Virginity is a personal thing- a personal decision and God appreciates you even if no one does - Priscillia
Being principled and not allowing emotions to overrule us- KINGSLEY
Virginity as a lifestyle is very possible but demanding, it will require a high degree of discipline especially in today's world that sex is marketed in virtually all human fields, in fashion, music, Talk shows etc. In my own view, it is important for individuals to have the fear of God first, this kept me a lot. Also, a good company should be kept, avoid very sexually charged atmosphere if you want to remain a virgin e.g. night clubs, brothels, etc.
-Avoid a relationship if you're not going to get married in two (2) years
-While in relationship, avoid lonely moments with your partner... Use public places for heart talks- Victor
OVERALL ASSESSMENT AND ADMONITION ON VIRGINITY
In my view, Virginity is indeed a virtue to reckon with from all perspectives, though not easily achieved in a sex- driven world- KINGSLEY
My assessment of virginity as a whole is that it's a very good thing, it increases the confidence and respect you get from your partner. Your self esteem is high. And your partner has no worries about leaving you for long... It's also what God requires of his people...so trust God and take practical steps to keep your virginity- VICTOR
CONCLUSION
I am crtain you have been able to garner some impactful views from the discourse, although the truth about the state of sexual purity isn’t limited to those above, it is a fact that such a topic cannot be exhausted; therefore we beckon on you to share your ‘constructive’ views too via this medium in order to educate others and thereafter provide a way out for those having issues with virginity or sexual purity.
1 comments:
Wonderful one sis, keep it up
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